Chronic emotional abandonment devastates a child. It naturally makes her feel and appear deadened and depressed. Functional parents respond to a child's depression with concern and comfort. Abandoning parents respond to the child with anger, disgust and/or further abandonment, which in turn exacerbate the fear, shame and despair that become the abandonment mélange. Overreaction to … Continue reading Working Backwards: CPTSD
I watched a brilliant film last night called "Call Me By Your Name" about a seventeen-year-old boy and a man in his twenties who fall in love over the course of a summer. It's one of the most beautiful love stories I've ever seen. It captures the headiness, the intoxication, the tenderness, the pain, the … Continue reading A Dreamless Codeine Sleep
Today I sat down to write and Starbucks' irritating and contrived folk music drained my inspiration so I put in my headphones, played some Travis Scott and decided to do this tag! Meditative Owl is who I saw doing it first and I thought it'd be fun! So here goes: 1. What is your usual Starbucks order? … Continue reading 73 Things About Me ✨
In my last post, I detailed a confusing encounter with a guy wherein I thought an uneven power dynamic was prevailing. However, as it turns out, he was just shy. And I realised that it was his initial uncaring demeanour that had attracted me in the first place. Regardless, he invited me to a party … Continue reading Meeting Beautiful People
Today has been, so far, maybe the best day of this year. Maybe I'm overcompensating because I was so recently broken up with and, of course, I had plenty of great times with him this year before that happened. But I have always felt that the happiness experienced in solitude has a magic to it … Continue reading ✨ The Magic Of Solitude ✨
What I say: I love and accept myself exactly as I am I approve of myself My heart has boundless strength I am brave to love It is safe to be vulnerable What I do: Cry. Howl. Wail (currently trying not to though as I'm in a coffee shop). Write songs (allowing crying breaks, of … Continue reading Breakups + Self-Care 💔
Patterns often repeat themselves within families. Genetics is commonly used as an explanation for this. Addictive personalities, disposition to depression and anxiety, abusive relationships maybe. I'm becoming more and more sceptical of genetics being used as scapegoat for unhealthy patterns and more open to the idea that the "monkey see, monkey do" nature of children … Continue reading Inheriting A Lack Mentality
I'm no stranger to being angry or overwhelmed. These days I'm reasonably good at hiding my anger, so people are usually quite surprised when I tell them I have a temper. But it's there! It kinda runs on both sides of the family - my Mam and Dad can both be pretty irritable - and … Continue reading How To Deal With Anger + Overwhelm
I don't know if it's just in Edinburgh where it's advertised but there's ads on the side of buses sometimes that say "try praying". The last time I saw one of these ads I internally rolled my eyes. To me, praying has always been synonymous with Christianity or organised religion in general. I also thought … Continue reading Praying, Faith + A Course In Miracles
This New Year is one like no other for me; I can not recall ever feeling so alien at the beginning of a year. I can not recall ever not wanting to join in with the tradition of setting resolutions and having the ability to let hope fill my heart. I hope that this is … Continue reading A Tentative Dip Into A New Year
