Trigger warning: suicidal ideation and self-injury It's been over three weeks now since I started taking sertraline, an SSRI anti-depressant. Also known as Zoloft and Lustral amongst other things. In my last blog post, I ran over the initial side effects and how it felt during the adjustment period. Now I feel as if those … Continue reading Three Weeks On Sertraline
I've written fairly extensively about my qualms about anti-depressive treatment. I won't go into depth now but I've written about it here and here. Not so long ago, I was feeling particularly resistant about taking them; maybe partly because my depressive illness had gotten so bad that I knew I might have to. But for … Continue reading First Week On Sertraline
Trigger warning: self-harm and suicidal ideation * * * Alyse Parker, a YouTuber and life coach I follow, said in one of her recent videos that we are the average of the 5 people we spend the most time with. That was definitely a thought-provoker for me. Because I spend a lot of my time … Continue reading The Detrimental Impact of Toxic Shame
Chronic emotional abandonment devastates a child. It naturally makes her feel and appear deadened and depressed. Functional parents respond to a child's depression with concern and comfort. Abandoning parents respond to the child with anger, disgust and/or further abandonment, which in turn exacerbate the fear, shame and despair that become the abandonment mélange. Overreaction to … Continue reading Working Backwards: CPTSD
I didn't think I'd see myself writing another post about anxiety - at least not in the context of my current experience. I wrote one particular post a while ago going in depth about my experiences with diagnosed anxiety and agoraphobia; and how receiving cognitive behavioural therapy (CBT) dramatically improved my symptoms. Something I've been … Continue reading The Muddy Waters Of Covert Anxiety
In my last post, I discussed briefly the role of free will in the context of mental illness. It's such a colossal subject with so much scope to cover that of course I only scratched the surface. Today, I want to go into slightly more depth with this as my prompt: In the comment section … Continue reading The Nuance of Depression + Recovery
I wrote a post about free will as it pertains to abuse a little while ago. The concept of free will interests me on a philosophical and psychological level because I think it's so nuanced. The main question it boils down to are the statements: you can't help it or you can help it. You can't help sleeping all … Continue reading Mental Illness + Free Will
For a few weeks, I've been mulling over which Buddhist figure should be the centrepiece of my shrine. I initially thought of Green Tara - the Buddha of compassion - who has been a familiar figure for me my whole life. Growing up, my Dad had a small Green Tara tapestry hanging in our home, … Continue reading Embracing Darkness With The Buddha Of The North
It's been roughly a year since my last episode of depression began. That might seem like a sign that it was seasonal-affective induced. However, more than any other time of year, I typically associate late spring with being the time that I typically start to experience depression; so I think that the arrival of winter … Continue reading “To Descend Is Also God’s Will” – Radical Acceptance, Depression + A Poem
This New Year is one like no other for me; I can not recall ever feeling so alien at the beginning of a year. I can not recall ever not wanting to join in with the tradition of setting resolutions and having the ability to let hope fill my heart. I hope that this is … Continue reading A Tentative Dip Into A New Year
