Chronic emotional abandonment devastates a child. It naturally makes her feel and appear deadened and depressed. Functional parents respond to a child's depression with concern and comfort. Abandoning parents respond to the child with anger, disgust and/or further abandonment, which in turn exacerbate the fear, shame and despair that become the abandonment mélange. Overreaction to … Continue reading Working Backwards: CPTSD
I didn't think I'd see myself writing another post about anxiety - at least not in the context of my current experience. I wrote one particular post a while ago going in depth about my experiences with diagnosed anxiety and agoraphobia; and how receiving cognitive behavioural therapy (CBT) dramatically improved my symptoms. Something I've been … Continue reading The Muddy Waters Of Covert Anxiety
In my last post, I discussed briefly the role of free will in the context of mental illness. It's such a colossal subject with so much scope to cover that of course I only scratched the surface. Today, I want to go into slightly more depth with this as my prompt: In the comment section … Continue reading The Nuance of Depression + Recovery
I wrote a post about free will as it pertains to abuse a little while ago. The concept of free will interests me on a philosophical and psychological level because I think it's so nuanced. The main question it boils down to are the statements: you can't help it or you can help it. You can't help sleeping all … Continue reading Mental Illness + Free Will
For a few weeks, I've been mulling over which Buddhist figure should be the centrepiece of my shrine. I initially thought of Green Tara - the Buddha of compassion - who has been a familiar figure for me my whole life. Growing up, my Dad had a small Green Tara tapestry hanging in our home, … Continue reading Embracing Darkness With The Buddha Of The North
It's been roughly a year since my last episode of depression began. That might seem like a sign that it was seasonal-affective induced. However, more than any other time of year, I typically associate late spring with being the time that I typically start to experience depression; so I think that the arrival of winter … Continue reading “To Descend Is Also God’s Will” – Radical Acceptance, Depression + A Poem
This New Year is one like no other for me; I can not recall ever feeling so alien at the beginning of a year. I can not recall ever not wanting to join in with the tradition of setting resolutions and having the ability to let hope fill my heart. I hope that this is … Continue reading A Tentative Dip Into A New Year
****trigger warning: suicide**** I don't know how to write about this without seeming really selfish and I'm not trying to invite people to worry sick about me; but it really has been my reality lately that I've been tempted to look death in the face. Maybe this is a healing opportunity for me. … Continue reading Siddhartha’s River
Depressed individuals tend to be more sensitive than the average person. We can feel disgruntled, victimised by our illness, alone and desperate for someone to understand. This can mean that when we see a representation of depression that does not resonate with us, we feel angry. "Great, another misconception - this is not what it's … Continue reading “Depression Isn’t Sadness, It’s Feeling Nothing At All” + Other Myths…
The last time I posted (which was a few weeks ago), I was feeling very motivated and I was exploring the idea of combating resistance and overcoming procrastination. I'm still feeling very excited about goals I want to achieve but I thought I'd be honest and reveal that I'm dealing with a bout of depression … Continue reading Life Update: A Chat About Depression + Chakras
