Instead of always focusing on why the men I attract cannot meet my needs, today I am going to hold my hands up and admit that I attract emotionally unavailable people and explore why. I listened to a podcast the other day with Mark Groves and Damona Hoffman. Damona is a dating coach and specialises … Continue reading Dating + Accountability
At work this week, the topic of relationships came up and I mentioned to a colleague that I wanted to stay single for 2 years. One pharmacist I was working with overheard me and seemed aghast, gasping: "That's so sad!" "Not as sad as being a relationship that makes you miserable," I replied, defending my … Continue reading Conscious Avoidance
I watched a brilliant film last night called "Call Me By Your Name" about a seventeen-year-old boy and a man in his twenties who fall in love over the course of a summer. It's one of the most beautiful love stories I've ever seen. It captures the headiness, the intoxication, the tenderness, the pain, the … Continue reading A Dreamless Codeine Sleep
Being in a relationship is something of a security blanket for many people. Like an "at least I'm not alone" sort of thing. The presence of a significant other can absolutely add value to our lives and provide a form of support through adversity; but it's simply irrational to regard anyone in a relationship as … Continue reading “Why Are You Single?”: The Bizarre Idealisation of Relationships
An unexpected insight came up in a therapy session a few weeks back. I was talking about the attention that naturally comes with performing and showcasing my essence and vulnerability on a stage. People take notice, approach you to talk about your set - buy you a drink, even. Mostly guys. I said to my … Continue reading An Honest Talk About Attention + Validation
What I say: I love and accept myself exactly as I am I approve of myself My heart has boundless strength I am brave to love It is safe to be vulnerable What I do: Cry. Howl. Wail (currently trying not to though as I'm in a coffee shop). Write songs (allowing crying breaks, of … Continue reading Breakups + Self-Care 💔
I'm no stranger to being angry or overwhelmed. These days I'm reasonably good at hiding my anger, so people are usually quite surprised when I tell them I have a temper. But it's there! It kinda runs on both sides of the family - my Mam and Dad can both be pretty irritable - and … Continue reading How To Deal With Anger + Overwhelm
Any time I've found myself in a truly toxic situation or dynamic, it hasn't been until after the fact that I've been able to acknowledge it. It's difficult to categorise someone's words or actions as abusive when you feel fondness towards them. When you love someone - romantically or otherwise - you feel as if … Continue reading “It’s Just A Joke” – The Many Faces Of Emotional Abuse
Last July, I started blogging about self-esteem growth. I was in a very dark place last summer. I had been working in a stressful environment for months and had been entertaining unhealthy friendships that toyed with my emotions and had me questioning my self worth. Then I was diagnosed with a chronic illness and out … Continue reading Thoughts On…A Year Of Self-Esteem Growth
I've been thinking about what self reliance means - more specifically, can someone be in a relationship, receive counselling and still be self-reliant? I'd like to explore the idea of counselling first. I started receiving counselling - not for the first time - a little over 3 weeks ago. I'd been intending to do this … Continue reading Thoughts On… Self Reliance
